Sitting back to observe . . .

First for Frankie - I found your blog from another blog I frequent and I must say despite your situation you are so very strong. Your son is lucky to have a mother like you.

Yesterday I had to spend some time with friends at a final gathering before school starts. Most of my friends are an extension of my childrens' friends. I forgot what ever happened to my friends or if they were really my friends at all. We could have been people who found themselves together in the same space or a similiar situation and just tried to make the best it.

Anyhow, instead of being my usual self (which is not really myself, just what people expect from me), I sat back to watch and listened. I've never been a "chatty patty" but I was quiet to the point it was noticed. I had several people ask me if I was feeling okay or if I needed a cocktail. Yes I was feeling well and no I didn't have a cocktail either. So I took the advice of the Action Card and just floated along in balance with the day. I avoided a hangover to boot!

I saw that for the most part, I have good friends and a strong network around me. I did take a good hard look at some of them earlier this year and weeded out the manipulators, liars and cheat among them. Thank goodness I have a strong intuition.

Action Card for 8.19.2005: Temperance – balance between inward reflection and outward activity; radiates confidence, contentment and peace; adaptation and atonement; arrival of a comrade, a friend, or mate; finds harmony with oneself and with the earth.

Action Card for 8.20.2005: Swords Ten - Birth (metaphorically) rehabilitation or a positive blank moment in life; the previous life, obsession, plan or structure is completely over.

I also became aware of how others see me. The presence I have, the energy I possess and my physical and mental appearance. I hate to say this but, beatiful people have it easier. It is harsh and unfair, but true because I've been on both sides. In the future I'll be talking less and listening more. I read so much and religion and history are two of my favorite topics. Armed with this information (history really does repeat itself), I can make myself better, more kind and generous.

Energy Card for 8.19.2005: Queen of Swords – great female sorrow, grieving, hardship and loneliness, misfortunes and sufferings are borne with dignity. Cerridwen Iris Shea added that the Queen os Swords is a woman who learns from her mistakes. Thanks!

Energy Card for 8.20.2005: The World - no immediate trouble, getting what one deserves, blessing, progress, a new cylcle starts in daily life. There are a few more materialistic meanings to this card but since I'm not a materialist soul, I don't apply them to my readings.

I feel better physically as I did some yoga and splashed around with the kids yesterday in the community pool. It wasn't Tao, but it was about as pathless as one can get in society. I fasted and today my stomach pains are gone. I really need to take more responsibility for what I eat. I'm not twenty anymore!

Today, there will be no yoga as back-to-school shopping and other activities will take most of my day. Thanks for stopping by.

Sophia